Friday, December 19, 2008

The Story of Stellar Stone LLC

My recent post which named Big-Rigs: Over the Road Racing as the best game of the year, has become a controversial one. I have received threats upon my life, antrax-laced mail and my own mother has claimed never to speak to me again. Despite this overwhelming disapproval of my belief in Big Rigs, I stand firm by my conviction. The following is my argument, and upon reading it, I am confident any sane, level-headed individual will see value in it, eventually joining me in my praise of Big Rigs, as the greatest video game ever developed.

Most contemporary review criteria are based on 4 important factors: Graphics, sound, story and gameplay. I don't normally enjoy criticising games in such an uninspired, rudimentary way, but, to shed all doubt of Big Rigs' perfection, I will make an exception. So, here I give you the ultimate review of Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing by Stellar Stone LLC.


Gameplay


Recent studies have proven that most teens possess an inate desire to truck, truck it out, or keep on trucking. Big Rigs appeals to all of these predilictions. The game is simply put: a racing simulation, which puts you in the cab of a truck, speeding through such famous American trucking routes, including "Devil's Passage 1", "City" and "Devil's Passage 2". The objective is to reach the destination before the competition does. This objective is executed fantastically, emulating perfectly the exhiliarting and simulating experience of being a real American trucker, zooming down long interstate stretches. In reality, of the four maps, only Devil's Passage 1 and 2 can be played, whereas the latter 2 cause a crash of the game. But who really wanted to play them, Devil's Passage rocks!



Flight is perfectly possible in Stellar Stone's newest trucking adventure!


The artificial intelligence competitors do not move from the starting line; a troubling realisation at first. A recent press release from Stellar Stone reveals they built the game with the physically handicapped in mind. How terrible would it be for a young, crippled boy to be beaten by an incompassionate AI? Instead, Stellar Stone LLC elimated the competition, gratifying the crippies of the world in knowing they beat the enemy!


Story

...


Sound

Big Rig's has no soundtrack, no music, no sound effects. While this avant-garde approach to sound development may shock many gamers, the result is spectacular. Without the buzz and whir of a radio, a humming exhaust pipe, or passing traffic, the player's mind becomes clear, focusing on the road ahead, and the competing truckers behind. It is very powerful and therapeutic indeed.


Graphics


The final criterion for a great game; the graphical milestones which Big Rigs has overcome are astonishing. Forget the pathetic achievements of Crytek, Rockstar and Infinity Ward, stand before the glory of Stellar Stone LLC, an accolade which only Ukranian and Western Russian minds could conceivably attain. Yes, in the department of graphics, Big Rigs is truly a 'chef d'oevre'.

Each rig looks used, worn and bent in a realistic manner. The light sourcing adds to the glossy look of the game, by providing a soothing finish to each model; complete with shaders and anisotropic texture filtering! Made in 2003, few computers today in 2008/09 can run Big Rigs at its highest graphical settings.


A completely destructible world is your to explore using the patented "ULTRANAV"!



To conclude, Big Rigs is a game which is artistic, moving and ahead-of-the-curve in every manner. I say with great pride that I will stand and defend my claims to the greatness of Big Rigs and their Russian developers, Stellar Stone. I can say with certainty, that had Big Rigs never been developed or released, I would surely have taken my life already.

The knowledge that a Big Rigs MMO is currently in development keeps hope alive in my heart, and the rat poison away from my coffee mug. Thank you Stellar Stone, my life now has meaning!


3 comments:

  1. Hey DX-1! Thanks for the comment back. Looking forward to hearing the podcast!

    Matt (MWG)

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. scratch that last comment. I sent you an email @ your gmail account through your blogger profile. Look forward to hearing from you!

    Matt (MWG)

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